54th anniversary

I am seeing many fewer hummingbirds this evening. I think they are flying back to Mexico. They have been here all summer by the dozens, but I know they will all be gone by September. We have fed them gallons of nectar and loved their small bodies buzzing around our house. I wish them well on their long journey and we will welcome them back around the first of March.

It is such a treat of our lives to experience the natural repetitions of wildlife here.

When we got married, fifty-four years ago, it was a moderate affair, as we all did in the sixties. My parents wanted a church wedding, and we did that in the local church. Then we all came back to celebrate in my parents' garden, nothing more expensive than a week of my father's pay. Lots of friends and family, good food. This was California with the swell of the end of the summer, and soon we were off on our wedding trip, camping across country to return to our colleges in the east.

In those many years since then we have lived in places from Providence, RI, to NYC, to Paris, to Washington D.C. to Florida in several places. We had amazing work! We had amazing kids! We were in this adventure of our lives forever. Mostly, we were in love with each other.

So, this evening we went out to celebrate at a local restaurant. All during this long marriage the main thread is our deep interest in each other and our constant conversations about everything. Yes, the long train has not been without a lot of acerbic talk. It has not been easy all the time.

We made this commitment to each other so many years ago - a formal marriage- and it survives with perhaps more joy than we could have imagined. We have learned so much from each other, fought bitterly at times, and we endure with the prospect of more interesting times to come.

Any two people of whatever gender have the right to what marriage guarantees (not only in the legal sense).  I think, as a married couple, you get the space to explore the deepest relationship, the freedom to struggle with change, all in a safe way because of your commitment as a couple. This is because you, as a couple, have made this decision.